AFRAID by Antoh

AFRAID by Antoh

Deducting some years from Today,

I was summing up as a young man yet to assemble the divided attentions I had.

I needed to keep up with the child in me, I needed to tame it.

I needed to dress the guy yet to be born in me,I had to coat it neat and clean.

I loved the company of mom, her lifting me after my bath,wow! Then I would wish she threw me higher.

Those were the days that I had to make memories without knowing.

Sleep was the best thing ever,

Waking up to mom’s side,

Her love was so much she couldn’t hide,

I thought it would be so forever.



I rock in my seat, 

To sleep I say no.

To death I hurl insults and curses.

Yesterday , 

When the day still had its black gown on,

When the day did surrender to its black painter,

I did feel some hands grab me in my sheets,

Was it really a dream?

Is this how a dream ought to be?

I couldnt help but scream.

I couldnt help but put the lights on, yes I had to be sure.

My Today is filled with soo much” Yesterdays”

My seat is my bed, I rock on my seat at night trying to scare sleep away.

For death did sign up sleep as its tool.



EASY by Antoh

EASY by Antoh

She had a story,

She was the story,

She had a prologue ,

If she ever let you read her prologue then you would tear down before the story.

Hers was a story never told in camp nights,

Hers wasnt a story to be published ,

Hers was an easy story of a lady who never felt sorry to feed the world to her story 

She believed she would nest her spirit with her to grave if her people ever finished her story.

“I journey on a spokeless bicycle,

Glued are my arms on the handles,

Nailed are my feet on the peddles,

I got no seat but still I got to sit,

My eyes never wander off the road.

I dont need a side mirror,

Unless you wish to journey by me but am sure you wont love it.

Atleast do read my story and dont judge me.

Easy Friend,

Easy Sister,

Easy Brother,

Please Take It Easy .

My story is their story for if this does reach them ,

Then we will have the same Epilogue.

Dont look at me and tell me to quit mine , mine does me well, unless you can write them your story.”

That was her story,

Story of a lady young enough to see old and young.

Story of a lady young enough to cry and laugh.

She was a lady looking for an epilogue for her story,

She did yearn to reach her fellows, those whom they had this in common.

She did give herself out on behalf of them, hoping the world would ask no more questions about her friends.

Indeed hers was a story of theirs, she just loved it easy.




His face was like a Yellow on a Rainy day,

His face did promise everyone of a sunshine,

He bled within to lift the yellow to surface,

Yet they would stab his little happiness when the rainbow did paint itself after the rain.

He loved seeing their wisdom teeth, he wasn’t a dentist though,

He sounded so comical,

He did drain them of the bad water in their eyes,

He was like a saint with a badge of deliverance, he cursed sorrows out of them with jokes,

Yet he had dams in his heart, blood clotting in his heart, nerves thinning and people to show some love.

He was an umbrella to all,

He would never let it rain on them,still to the rain he would shout,”let it rain”

He wanted the best for them,

Yet they never treated him like the rest, they never gave him the crest , he never did rest for he knew he would soon go to sleep.

He had a rope on his neck every time he went grazing,

He felt nice riding on the bull’s back,

He drank from the river with the cattle,

He slept close to the calves on the watch of the cows,

He felt weak when he saw ’em slaughter a bull,

He never said a thing though for they would wave him a placard full of “NO!!!!!!!!”

Yet he stuck by his family.

Care to listen ,who?

Who would listen him?

They all loved to listen to him make jokes.

They all loved when he runned errands for them.

They all loved him for he never said much, he never complained.

Yet he was dying, they were killing him.


FAR AWAY by Antoh

FAR AWAY by Antoh

I wish to go far,

Far away from him,

Far away from her,

Far away from them,

Far away from you,

I wish to go far.

Lips did let straws in,

Throats did let in sodas n Delamere Yoghurts,

The stomach welcomed it all,

That was the path,

My life had the same path,

All that came always wished to pass,I now lead the path,

I wish to go far.

Promises I made, to stick  to thin by ’em,

Promise to love despite the distance or years,

Promise to be true to myself,

Promise to be brave ,to shine a light on my past,

My secrets aint secrets anymore,

I am yet to find n keep new secrets,

My story I believe has spread,

My lower cut wont hide my face for long,hair grows ,right?

The innocent look aint there , Am old and tired,

I wish to go far.

Today , Far is my target,

Far away from where I have been,

Far away from those I have been with,

Far away from all those I did,

Far away from where I once wished to be,

Far away

Yes far far far faaaar away

I wish to go far.

I wipe off dust my portraits on the wall,

I spread my bed,

I polish my shoes,

I put on a hat,

I keep my smile in my breast pocket,

I put my heart in my hands,

I put God ahead of my journey,

I wish to disappear,

Should I walk into the lake, be swept away by the current,

Should I cling onto the rubbish lorry ,wherever it stops last to be my stop,

For i want to be far away

I wish to go far




All around me seem to stop moving,

My eyes are watery n blurry,

My eyes feel like the moon soaring in the sky at night, when all is still.

I hear her scream my name,

Yes I heard my name,

The voice was hers,

I cant see her though,

O noooo,

Dear Eyes dont betray me.

Am I dead?

Dear words,wont you move out,

I need to clear my throat,

I know I ought to clear my throat before I speak but Today all seem wrong.

Cmon move out,

Lemme clear it ,

Lemme tell her I can hear her,

Lemme tell her I can’t see.

Lifeless I lay,

With a body trying to wave to mr. Life, like ,”hey dont be long,

We can be a thing,

I will give you shelter,

I will do the lord’s will,”

Does it hear me,o

For how long have I been lifeless?

Will they bury me if I dont wake up?

Lots of question for a dead mind, dead soul.

When  I will wake up?

When I will meet mr.Life

When mr. Life will come back?

Soon I believe, dont bury me yet.





Like a kid ,I did lay in a trough,a trough full of hard water.

I sat there waiting for mum ,mum always did wash me,

From my head down to my knee.

To me, bathing was just sitting in water .

To me ,bathing was just doing what mom said.

The water was still, My mind was getting into some world I never been to,for sure it gave it a drill.

With my head full of thoughts i had to be still.

Like a kid I couldnt do a thing.

It was nice being a kid.

Now am here wishing I could do all that kids do despite my age,then if one complains i would say,”hey you am just kidding”

The first day I did slide curiousity into my soul ,

That was the day to my body i did sign a treaty to kill.

My life is now about climbing hills

My senses got this gun of addiction pointed to them, bullets of supply that fill holes to my desires.

Tomorrow  will be like Today, today was like Yesterday.

I wish i could get this feel off my shoulders.

I wish i could be a kid once more, a kid on the watch of a good mom, mom wont leave me ,she will live to watch me live.

For right now ,i take in fire into my mouth like a magician, chimney out some smoke and make it rain in my lungs.

Aint kidding its just the kid in me wishing to be heard.




You said you needed to see the truth in my eye

See if i got in me any lie

To get answers to any question i would not answer,

So Today i hand you the pages,

This is something i havent done for ages

Being good,

I know you know not of what they say about me,silence was my food

I love to get intimate with you

Am already on your ass like an ewe

Lips shaking

Heart aching

Love scorching my soul

Sun warming me its time to get home

But what you do you

Your lips pressed together

Thoughts kept to oneself

Love kept in the shelf

Candles blown out

Darkness cropped in

Hearts dry and weary

Yeah just a page from my heart

Written in red

What about black now

Will you read it in the dark

Wont you click at my thoughts


I know am insane

You drive me insane

But i will tell from my heart that am hurt

I wont open any more page

Just tell me you need to read from the best pages

That you love romance only on screen.

On my cheeks ,i needed your lips to shout to mine 

To shout to my locked lips

To this you left me all alone

Not even an address to where your thoughts would make the next stop